Me at age 7 with my first boyfriend, Shawn Harper. This was the beginning of my tendency to date someone just because he asked. It's taken a quarter of a century, but I have finally at long last broken this nasty, foul-smelling trend.
My friends and family could tell you that I have not always made the best choices when it came to dating. They could tell you that in the 8th grade, my boyfriend un-invited me to the Pearl Jam concert and tried to ask my step-sister to be his date instead. My family could also attest to the fact that I dated a guy who celebrated my 20th birthday by letting me download a song on his Napster account and taking me to Wal Mart to let me pick out a $5 movie, which I bought. Unfortunately, the last guy I dated was so crazy, needy and attention-hungry that my family wouldn't dare even mention him. They don't even call him by his name, only "red sweater guy" because he wore a red sweater the one and only time I allowed him to meet my family. He was my biggest mistake to date. Because he was also my most recent, you have to wonder whether I have really even learned anything after all of my years of dating disasters. But, hey - I am an eternal optimist and I truly believe that it was because of these disasters that I now know my worth and therefore, it's all uphill from here. So, because the word of this month is "vintage," I am reflecting on taking the good things from my past relationships and upgrading them into the future. So, here are my 6 & 1/2 things I am taking with me into my bright dating future:
1. Music. Most of the guys I have dated have had good and similar taste in music, so I now have a great compilation of tunes that I will take with me, no matter what memories might have once been associated.
This deserves it's own mini-6&1/2things list
1. "Did Ya Ever Look So Nice" The Samples
2. "Angel" Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3. "Dancing in the Moonlight" Thin Lizzy
4. "Solar System" Vigilantes of Love
5. "Blinded" Third Eye Blind
6. "Half Light (Eddy TM remix)" Athlete
6.5. "Thinking Bout You" Frank Ocean (only gets a .5 because I no longer associate this one with an ex)
2. My ability to go with the flow/ patience level. I am happy in most situations. I have found out recently that it actually takes quite a lot to make me uncomfortable. That does not mean I should put up with crazy person nonsense (*read- red sweater guy). It only means that I have the ability to have a great relationship with a drama-free guy.
3. At least a couple of great friends. There are at least two guys that I dated at some point that I consider great friends. One of the hardest parts of a break up is losing a friend, but when you know that you are better off that way, why not just take the romance out of it and keep a good buddy who understands you? I rather enjoy these friendships actually and am very thankful for them.
4. Handy Dandy Know-How. I learned how to change a tire because an ex was upset and slashed my tires. We were young and have since made up, but this was not the most fun thing to learn in July in Memphis. I was 19 and had never even heard of a car jack. I thought Triple A was just an extra special version of Alcoholics Anonymous.
5. Good memories. Prom. High School graduation. Frat parties. Sorority formals. Couple Halloween costuming. Beach trips. Skiing trips. Music Fest. Dave Matthews concerts. Wedding. Having babies. Watching airplanes land. Fun late night talks. These are memories that I don't want to let go of because they remind me of growing up and other good things. Not letting these go. Ever.
6.5 Important Lessons. Just because a guy is a good guy, it doesn't mean a relationship will be a good one. Compatibility is a must. I know now what I have to offer someone and I don't think I'm too terribly shabby. I should expect the same from any guy I date. Sometimes you have to go searching for things when you don't really know what you are looking for. It is only when you have found enough of what you DON'T want that you actually begin to understand what you do. I know now exactly what I want. And I will only date those who seem to fit that profile. And right now, I'm extremely excited about the future.
-Morgzz
1. Music. Most of the guys I have dated have had good and similar taste in music, so I now have a great compilation of tunes that I will take with me, no matter what memories might have once been associated.
This deserves it's own mini-6&1/2things list
1. "Did Ya Ever Look So Nice" The Samples
2. "Angel" Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
3. "Dancing in the Moonlight" Thin Lizzy
4. "Solar System" Vigilantes of Love
5. "Blinded" Third Eye Blind
6. "Half Light (Eddy TM remix)" Athlete
6.5. "Thinking Bout You" Frank Ocean (only gets a .5 because I no longer associate this one with an ex)
2. My ability to go with the flow/ patience level. I am happy in most situations. I have found out recently that it actually takes quite a lot to make me uncomfortable. That does not mean I should put up with crazy person nonsense (*read- red sweater guy). It only means that I have the ability to have a great relationship with a drama-free guy.
3. At least a couple of great friends. There are at least two guys that I dated at some point that I consider great friends. One of the hardest parts of a break up is losing a friend, but when you know that you are better off that way, why not just take the romance out of it and keep a good buddy who understands you? I rather enjoy these friendships actually and am very thankful for them.
4. Handy Dandy Know-How. I learned how to change a tire because an ex was upset and slashed my tires. We were young and have since made up, but this was not the most fun thing to learn in July in Memphis. I was 19 and had never even heard of a car jack. I thought Triple A was just an extra special version of Alcoholics Anonymous.
5. Good memories. Prom. High School graduation. Frat parties. Sorority formals. Couple Halloween costuming. Beach trips. Skiing trips. Music Fest. Dave Matthews concerts. Wedding. Having babies. Watching airplanes land. Fun late night talks. These are memories that I don't want to let go of because they remind me of growing up and other good things. Not letting these go. Ever.
6.5 Important Lessons. Just because a guy is a good guy, it doesn't mean a relationship will be a good one. Compatibility is a must. I know now what I have to offer someone and I don't think I'm too terribly shabby. I should expect the same from any guy I date. Sometimes you have to go searching for things when you don't really know what you are looking for. It is only when you have found enough of what you DON'T want that you actually begin to understand what you do. I know now exactly what I want. And I will only date those who seem to fit that profile. And right now, I'm extremely excited about the future.
-Morgzz
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